IF WE WERE LOBSTER, WE'D BE ON A ROLL.

The Lobster Roll @ Anchor & Hope (San Francisco, CA)

JEAN:

after a brisk walk (read: run) to the restaurant, we were very much in need of some refreshments. i was glad to say my friends, Paco & Lola, were able to help by providing us with their delicious Albariño. asked to describe it (Paco & Lola Albariño, that is) some people called it "gulpable." other, more creative people dubbed it "stone rosey" and "springy." whatever. i'm not here to judge people, just food. we WERE here to try the lobster roll, after all — wait, so why the hell are Meaghan and Mark getting a freaking vegetable BLT to split?! to make me furious?! probably.

the Lobster roll is really the only sandwich option for serious Club Sandwichers, right Tans? it's lobster, cushioned inside a yummy, eggy, grilled hotdog bun, surrounded by Old Bay potato chips and tangy cole slaw. how could you resist? on first bite you get a big dose of lemony, meaty heaven. my only concern was its structure. the scoop of lobster was placed just atop the bun and i wished it was smushed farther down because my "filling" kept leaping from it's bun back onto the plate. maybe it was just afraid of my mouth...my point is, shove the lobster further into the bun because otherwise more than half the bun is empty. as i said at lunch, it's like buying a 3-floor building and only occupying the top floor.

i give it 3 pickle chips.

MARK:

Anchor & Hope is yet another nautical theme restaurant in the heart of the bustling Financial District (what is it with San Francisco and the ocean anyway? Fisherman's Wharf, Pier 39, the Ferry Building... I dare someone to tell me why we have so many seafood restaurants here?!). We were greeted at the door by what i would lovingly call "a wench." She showed us to our table and handed us a shot of orange juice "fight off scurvy while at sea." Not amused bouche. Our waiter was dressed unconvincingly as a pirate. The peg leg was fake, the hat was 2 sizes too small and his "parrot" was actually a chicken dipped in green food coloring. But I did appreciate having to "walk the plank" to get to the restroom. Nice touch! I didn't know whether or not to pee or pray for a Peter Pan rescue.

Jean picked a delicious wine for us- "Paco Rabanne" They make cologne as well, the wine is far superior. Maybe wine is just un-ripened cologne? I guess we'll never know. Since I've had the lobster roll 6 or 7 times, i thought I'd split it with Meaghan and get the vegetarian sandwich on the menu that came with lime chips. Those sounded delicious and I was absolutely right. Light, salty and with little bits of lime rind. The vegetarian sandwich (which will not get a real review due to club Sandwich guidelines) was pedestrian.

The lobster roll was just as lovely as I remembered it. Big eggy brioche that hold ups to the solidly dressed lobster bits. Mild for sure, but in a decidedly authentic way. The coleslaw was unoriginal, and the Bay chops are no match for the lime ones I devoured, but I was so full from the 2 sandwich halves that I didn't mind that the sides were lacking. By the way, don't freak out when the waiter hands you the bill brandishing a giant hook-hand. It's perfectly harmless and gives you a nice scare to sober you enough to return to work.

I give it 3 pickle chips.

MEAG:

Anchor & Hope, yes another nautical themed restaurant but, in all fairness nothing like Crabby Joe's just a short walk away. It's filled with lovely little nautical surprises, like the light bulbs. Frosted glass with names of fish and other "sea like" words etched into them. Delightful.

We started with the yummiest white wine - thanks Jean. It was like the server was the Kool-Aid man on a hot day. I couldn't drink it fast enough. Refreshing, crisp and a perfect compliment to the half Lobster Roll I was about to order. Half because a) I'm (according to Jean) a food robot and b) well there is no b). The Lobster Roll was almost as delicious as I had imagined. The brioche was toasted and buttery, the perfect weight to accompany the mild and meaty lobster laid gently into it. Paired with a crunchy slaw and Bay chips (which I ate without any hesitation) I was wishing I just ordered a whole one. But as a food robot, I would have been overcome with guilt. And it's not like the wine, bread with extra salt salty butter, two types of chips and two half sandwiches wasn't enough.

I give it 3 pickle chips keeping in mind we have nothing else to compare it to yet.

TANNER:

My blog post is entitled "Where's the Cheese?"

I've been dating a lactose intolerant Mexican for about a year. I've been doing things like ordering nachos "dry" and pissing off line cooks as I attempt to reinvent the quesadilla.

So it was much to my disappointment that on one of the first food dates I had outside the clutches of my cheese-less romance, the prescribed sandwich, the famed Lobster Roll, was a far cry from what I had imagined.

I Anchored my butt to the seat & Hoped for a bubbly concoction of lobster surrounded by a rich white fondue. Slightly singed at the top, like a Brulee, cushioned by a crisp and buttery thick cut of angel soft brioche, it would have been not unlike a savory cheesy gnocchi, or say the world's best artichoke dip, except minus the artichokes and the dipping.

Unfortunately what I got was a borderline tasteless (and you can be quite certain cheese-less) chilled lobster salad stuck inside a funny looking (but not altogether awful) square hot dog bun.

And so the Lobster Roll is getting 2 pickles. Sue me.